Friendship: My dear friends , for you !

There are three types of relationships in a man’s life.

1. Intellectual: There are relationships of the intellect, which cannot be very deep. The relationship between a teacher and a student is this type of relationship.

2. Love: There are relationships of love, which are deeper than the intellect. The relationships between a mother and child, brothers, husband and wife, are these types of relationships: they arise from the heart.

2. Friendship:): Then there are even deeper relationships that emerge from the navel. I call the relationships that result from the navel ‘friendships’. They go deeper than love. Love can end: friendship never ends.

Tomorrow we may hate the people we love today — but someone who is a friend can never become an enemy. If he becomes an enemy, then there was no friendship in the first place. The relationships of friendship are of the navel. They are relationships of deeper and unknown realms.

That's why the Buddha did not tell people to love each other. He talked about friendship. He said that there should be friends in your life. Somebody even asked the Buddha, “Why do you not call it love?” And he replied, “Friendship is a much deeper thing than love. Love can end, friendship never ends.”

Love binds, friendship, gives freedom. Love can enslave somebody. It can possess, it can become a master. Friendship does not become someone’s master; it does not hold anyone back. It does not imprison, it frees. Love becomes a bondage because the lovers insist that the other should not love anyone else but them.Friendship has no such insistence. One man can have thousands of friends, millions of friends because friendship is a vast, very deep experience. It arises from the deepest centre of life. That is why friendship ultimately becomes the greatest way to take you towards the divine. Someone who is a friend to all will sooner or later reach to the divine because his relationships are happening with everyone’s navel centre. One day, he is bound to be connected to the navel centre of the universe.One’s relationships in life should not be merely intellectual; they should not be the only heartful — they should be deeper, they should be of the navel.

Courtesy: Osho

Leadership in turbulent times:

Ship sails smooth in silent waters, and everyone overboard enjoys the ride but captain enjoys when the ship is in turbulent waters. The calm sea always supports the ship, but it is turbulence which throws ship either far ahead in the direction of the journey or somewhere far away. It all depend on the skills and action of captain and staff.

In my organization every manager is captain, we make motor cars. Someone said vehicle industry is like an economy wheels. State of vehicle industry in any economy indicates the health of organization. Let me take you all through the vista of thoughts, which I think could be useful to us (my organization ).

Organization is synchronous group small departments, which have different goals and initiatives but all support the business strategy of organization. We have following departments :

1. Dreamers : They with the help of “Nomads” (marketing), give the birth to a concept, to a requirement. this department have many sub-departments too but for our ease we will call all of them “dreamers”

2. Creators: They are the one who understand and rewrite the dreamers dream in the language of science. Geek once.

3. Makers: They are the one who take the conceptualized dream and give shape to this dream.

Let’s start the journey: 

“Batten down the hatches and seek safety from hatched eggs”. Manger should stay away from this adage. Turbulence in business always come up with opportunities .The key word is stay connected to market viz a viz customer.

Turbulence doesn’t mean chaos but yes it can create chaos if we don’t act accordingly, as chaos occurs because of unpreparedness. Turbulence defines the unpredictable and sometimes undetectable patterns that external factors place upon businesses across the world in these uncertain times,”

1. Develop early warning system: find what is happening at customer’s customer end and vendor’s vendor end. Study complete value chain and identify what is happening in terms of cost and pricing downstream.

2. Engage in all scenario based strategy instead of best and worst case analysis.

3. Prioritize key scenarios and develop strategy: It should be continuous activity. Planned and evolved on quarterly basis.

4. Decision should be based on cut/delay; increase/accelerate and outsource.

But for our organizations, we have to concentrate on following points :

Engage all stakeholders, All mean All:

Identify all stake holder, all mean all. Internal and external too. Internal includes all of above mentioned departments . External customers : competitors, government, consumer, weather and business scenarios.

Once identified bring them all on one page and break the silos. Big organizations usually face this issue. Being big departments, every department in the organization have it’s own BSC (balanced score card) to maintain so in the race of maintaining this departments lose the big picture and organization fails to achieve the set goals.

Survival or growth :

In volatile market, trends changes overnight so agility to align oneself could help organization to survive but survival is the hygiene, growth is the target.

“Scan the horizon, find the value and create the opportunity”

Look deep into: - Engage market shareholders, Market requirements, Customer explicit and implicit needs, Customer behavior, Global socio-political picture, Organization’s current strategy, Global trends, reprioritization of projects, challenge unproductive activities, honest assessment of future plans and consumers needs and latent requirements.

To have solid ground organization should first survive, which means lets put major resources on few main projects and let them make successful rather than trying to catch all rabbits.

0- Read market requirements and make sure to deliver what is required by the market not by any senior individual .

0- Once requirements are set, Give full support to achieve what is set.lets not teams wander .

Policies and decision making:

Decisions should be made at right level not at highest level.

Policy maker or decision taker have all the onus to steer organization in foggy times but decision makers should be few only. not more than 5-6. On organizational level, keep making the decision and maintain the momentum. Avoid policy paralysis, to minimize the momentary losses. Policy paralysis can have negative effect on the organizations; it can be more dangerous when the disconnection extends to middle management.

organizations should not postpone planned initiative and plan budget cutting without measuring the status and opportunity cost of the initiatives. Stay focused on the performance and has difficult conversations within the organization.

Pass the buck to middle management, empower the people and accountability should be pushed harder and down till the bottom level of organization. Momentum of activities should be maintained, core activities and project should never be halted.

find opportunities in uncertainty:

Extract latent needs of customer and commercialize the need into opportunity. Opportunities don’t wait around for good time to come; organizations should invest in human resources and create opportunities from uncertainty and capitalized on it.

Special attention should be paid to following:

Human resources:

Quality, experienced and home grown talent should be retained at any cost during turbulent period. We should make policies conducive so that employees can breath easily. we should empower them in this time.Unite them in this hour of need. Organization should be very careful, as usually tough time brings lot of tough but unnecessary policies which not only demoralize employees but force them to leave the group.  

Supply chain

should be maintained or at least infrastructure should be maintained so that after revival period; things can be run smoothly.

It is just not enough, one have to get into each and every thread of the organization to bring the killer instinct but for leaders, leaders should shift gears from command and control to empathy, humility, authenticity and compassion.

Tough time never remains there but it decide who will stay there or who will not!

DRUGS vs PUNJAB?

Punjab, The first mention of the Sanskrit equivalent of Punjab, occurs in the great epic, The Mahabharata, As the 'Pancha-nada' 'country of five rivers’.

The most sought out area in time of history of HINDUSTAN. Let it be Alexander, Mughals,  British or Indian and Pakistan government in 1947. Gifted with the green lush fields, gardens, fertile land, animals and one of the most dynamic community. As names say, Punjab, Land of five rivers and saints. Out of 16 rivers in united INDIA (before 1947), Punjab have the honour of having six rivers. The Nile, only rivers  has been ensuring  Egypt's past, present and future, just a one river and here in this small part of the world we have 6 big rivers, Isn't it a gift of god to this land?  

People of this place, what should I say? Everybody know what being Punjabi means? The people full of exuberance, joie de vivre, bravery, and strength. People, who know how to enjoy life, care free, fun loving, Musicians, dancers, Gourmets and as much as adjectives one can think.Because of strategy location and war history of this area, People of this field have set them selves in a set behavior, which is also known as the spirit of Punjab. They are aggressive, go getter and colorful. Don’t plan much for future but belief in enjoying presently.

This state too had or have her quota of good and wrong time, 1980’s was the time when instead of water blood was flowing in the rivers of Punjab. That was black era of “Militancy”, I would call it a political fiasco but by the 1990’s Punjab was free of militancy and again came back to the old tune of 1970’s “green revolution”. Once again peace and harmony resorts on this land. Militancy had good and bad effect on the demography of Punjab but masses wishes to move forward and wants to catch the bus of liberalization.

“ Blind race for materialistic growth will leads to no where instead leads one to ditch of moral & ethical degradation “ and that’s what happened in last 15 years in Punjab.

The curse of the land “ DRUGS ADDICTION.”

See how things have changed because of this devil

Kids who use to play daring games are now playing with puffs of heroin and cocaine .

Herds and herds of youngsters used to attend Indian Army recruitment camps are now herding to insert injections in their bodies.

The food for which Punjabi’s are world famous is replaced by what?

“73.5% of Punjab’s youth is addicted to drugs.”The yearly consumption of alcohol in Punjab is touching 29 Crore bottles making it one of the highest per capita consumers of alcohol in the world! .A multi million drug nexus operating under the noses of the Border Security Force, The Directorate of Revenue Intelligence, The Narcotics Control Bureau and the Intelligence Bureau, leaving them as a mere viewer to Punjab’s erosion. 

As per “United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime” Punjab is world largest transit point of opium and at the same time India have the highest share in consumption of opium too, and major pie of this charts obviously comes from Punjab.

Now the question is why? What happened in last decade that Punjabi youth embraced drugs? And why still the government is not raising the alarm ?

I am reading UN’s world drug report and I have some personal experience of the ill effects of drug addiction. I will share my views on why part of the question in next post but believe me drug addiction in Punjab is like ticking bomb which is about to explode. I see it as a fight between drugs addiction and Punjabi spirit of life and as a Punjabi, I want Punjab to win this war as we won against Militancy but this time enemy is much stronger and invisible. TCR PUNJAB.

Crying:(

Crying: Meaning:Adjective:“demanding attention”& “Conspicuously and outrageously bad or reprehensible”                                                                                                         

Noun:The process of shedding tears                

Crying is sort of taboo in our society, we are taught to be happy and spread happiness and this message is fed to us from everywhere from parents to relatives, Movies and songs etc. Everyone will tell you to be happy, keep smiling but nobody will discuss about crying but that is obvious. Crying is  associated with pain and No one wishes pain to other but in practical world where we always have thousand desires, Pain is inevitable so as the crying. We start our life with tears, Tears output of activity known as crying. That is the only time of our life when everybody expects us to cry and that too aloud one.What a entry? and by chance if someone try to sneak in to this world quietly, they never let you do that. Any how do you know our tears are constitute of water, hormones and number of chemicals? It contain hormones prolactin,adrenocorticotropichormone, Leu-enkephalin and the potassium and manganese.

Not only that there are many different type of crying. we can discern it into two main categories Emotional one and non emotional one. It is also known as lacrimation which mean just shedding tears. Our body shed tears when some foreign particle enters into out eye to remove it from eye or when we are under emotional trauma.

I witnessed two different crying episodes today. In both cases, crying was emotional crying. In first case it was a kid (7 year old), his father was taking him to some place and he had no plans to leave his mother behind so he was yelling and crying like anything and trying his best to get out of his father’s grip. I think he tried his best for around 10-15 minutes and after that he got engaged into something else. I really enjoyed whole show. In other incident it was totally a different experience, An adult is trying her best to hold on her tears and she too tried her best to hold on her tears till as much as time she can. I left her alone to complete try her best but I am sure. She has been still trying hard to hold her tears. I witnessed both incidents for  the same period of time but I was amazed at the difference and similarities of the emotional outbursts.

Both parties(A kid and an adult) had some unfulfilled desires, which became reason of pain and out come was outburst but point to be noted over here is the magnitude of pain, which was same in both cases( I assume that) but the way that kid recovered out of it was amazing and that is what ? forced me to sleepover  this case of crying. As kid, his desire was momentary and when he realized that now he can’t overpower his father’s grip he surrender  and start enjoy next best thing close to him and he didn’t try to shroud his feelings because of embarrassment. Instead he express them freely and cried on the highest pitch  of his voice and once his energy was exhausted, he didn’t let that negative thoughts prevail  in his mind. On other hand my an adult friend, she was afraid of showing her emotional side to me  and she had plans to keep her negative energy inside her so she did that and that’s why she will not able to lose that pain and with time it will keep growing unless until she will let it go. CRY …..seriously whenever you fell like crying, cry the way you laugh and enjoy it…just observe, when you are crying next time.there are sort of waves rising and falling in side (that might be diaphragm action) from mid of your stomach and goes up to your throat. Even though you wish to speak it out but just because of that wave which is in your mouth you can’t utter a single word and some you will feel lot of energy in you and at the same time you will feel so helpless that you can’t able to move your hand and once you are done with crying. You will feel great relief or sort of rest in your body. You will feel as if just now you had done some exhaustive job. Next time experience cry in this way :).

In this fashion you will not only over come your negative thoughts but at the same time will have gratitude towards the desire (person thing or xyz etc), which had bring that experience to you and you will see table is already turned around.

CRYING IS NOT BAD FOR HEALTH!

Do any one would wish to die like Mr. Thackeray?

I have my condolence with Mr. Thackeray’s family but so as with all those who die at that moment. Ten deaths are registered in India every minute on a good sunny day so why this halla bulla. I am amazed at the headlines of different newspapers.

“20,000 police personnel deployed.”

Security was beefed up across Maharashtra, particularly in Mumbai where 20,000 police personnel were deployed, to keep a tight vigil following the death of Shiv Sena chief Bal Thackeray here today.

“No film shows in Mumbai on Sunday.”

cinema house owners in the city have decided to keep the theatres closed on Saturday evening and Sunday for security reasons.

There was a time when leaders like Bhagat Singh and Chandrashekhar Azad died, and the whole country comes out to pray for them but willingly and their believers didn’t disrupt the normal life or neither they harmed anyone.

At the age of 86 what is expected from the human body? Can’t we see what is happening?The person who left was no more Thackeray and even what if he was. He was a weak human being like us, who had extreme hatred hidden inside him but that doesn’t let us down that person after his death. 

His body should be given a peaceful farewell rather than this show off of power over which SHIV SENA will try to build their future.

I am sure Late. Mr. Thackeray will not be happy to see all these news headlines because I will never be. The day I will leave this earth I want to see peace and happiness behind not hostile conditions and that too because of my death.

“Lata Mangeshkar: Lata said Maharashtra was "orphaned" by Thackeray's death at the age of 86. "Hindu Friday Samrat, param darn ya Shri Balasaheb Thackeray hum logon ko choke anant mein vileen ho gaye. Yeh satya hai ki aaj Maharashtra anaath ho gaya”

Dear Madam if he is a such a son of land then why don’t you pray to god to resend him as a MARATHI. Is that possible? No. No one have control over that then why to keep hatred and anger for anyone in one’s heart for a cause which is not a cause?

My point is not that, What I am saying is I don’t wish to die like Mr. Thackeray.

Do you?

Attitude that hinder organizations to develop new products.

1. No one is doing it.

2.We  have never tried it before.

3.We tried it last time and it didn’t worked.

4. It will be not compatible to our business model

5.It will be too expensive

6.We have to change our production facility

7.We have to develop new vendors.

8.We don’t have technical expertise.

9.We can go for it but lead time will be high.

If you are asked to choose between reduction in warranty claims or new product development, In which option would you like to put your efforts? This is quite a hen and egg puzzle but obviously every organization wishes to produce warranty claim free products but we all know warranty claims are bound to happen what so ever one do. As product quality curve (bath tub curve) shows, product is suppose to improve after some time but if that some time is the life of the product then after some threshold time organization should switch to new product rather then putting efforts in warranty claims.

Democracy: Right to vote or more than that?

What is democracy? Does it mean just a right to vote and choose Member of parliaments? We, the Indians are very much proud of our democracy,” world largest democracy “. What type of  democracy it is? Where voter have no practical right on the leader whom he had made member of parliament. where public servants always have notion that public is their servant. I asked these question to myself:

1. If we have a democracy then why not government ask me to vote for any important bill ?

2. If we are in democracy then why all leaders travel in cars/planes and burn crores of rupee in their luxuries and my fellow citizens are dying of hunger every year?

3.If I am living in a democratic country then why I am so helpless after elections?

4.Why my employee (member of parliament) whom I am recruiting and paying salary (hefty one with lots of perks) is not accountable to the work he/she is supposed to do? 

5. Why do this employee, is not disciplined? Why don’t he/her have any targets to accomplish in his/her tenure ?

In countries like USA, with 50 states and 3033 counties but still they have open house debates before every election and before implementing any new bill. why it is not possible in world largest democratic country with just 640 districts ?

But still question is what is democracy ? Is it a form of governance in which system is by the people and for the people.  Did we miss-understood its definition or our leaders ? I found below picture “the evolution of Democracy in India” on net, where we are heading toward? but one thing is sure only our leaders and politicians are not only responsible for this dilemma, we too are. They are also one of us. 

Punjabi Marriages.

Last week I have been to Punjab for a “ grand punjabi marriage” . Marriages in Punjab are quite like a social carnivals. It is always grand and lively actually one can add as many as adjectives one can .Main features of punjabi marriages are:
1. Lot of noise
2.Lot of colors
3.Lot of sweets and cuisines
4.Lots of gossips
5.Lot of marriage making discussion
6.Lots of old and new customs.
As I said it is a social carnival, which means a interaction with lots of people and I tell you that’s the place for lot of stories and variety, one can’t believe. Topics from fashion to rocket science to international politics.
Marriage ceremonies are compilation of traditional rituals and customs but with time things are changing and so as rituals. I will try to capture all important events of a Punjabi marriage. As I have been from boy side so I am going to spell out functions from that side.
Takha or Rokka In this ceremony, the boy and the girl commit to enter a wedlock, and won't consider any more matrimonial proposals. The girl's maternal uncle gives her the nath (nose ring) which she will wear on her wedding.Though rings are not exchanged, the couple stand unofficially engaged after this ceremony.
Sagai/Kudmai This ceremony begin with the tikka ceremony, held few days before the wedding  in which the family of the girl visits  the boy's place carrying beautifully wrapped gifts and the tikka material: a silver tray with a few grains of rice and saffron in a tiny silver bowl, 14 chuharey (dried dates) covered with silver foil and a coconut wrapped in a gold leaf. The father of the girl applies 'tikka' on his son-in-law's forehead and gives him his blessings and some money. In return, the girl's family receives baskets of seven dried fruits: almonds, cashewnuts, chuahara, coconut pieces, raisins, khurman (dried apricots) and phoolmakhana.
The girl is draped with a chunni (stole), which is usually very ornate. A tiny dot of mehendi is applied to her palm for good luck, and the function is sealed with the exchange of rings. Everyone present congratulates the couple by feeding them sweet.
Mangni/shagun The Engagement ,The girls side of the family goes to the boys' side with gifts, jewellery, and other goods, to confirm the engagement but these days because of time constraints Mangni is planned along with SAGAI. Girls possession is led by girl’s brother, who worship groom as god and offer him lot of gifts.
Dholki/sangeet : This part of the wedding is full of noise.Respective families invites their neighbors and relatives to sing wedding songs at their homes till marriage.On groom’s side all relatives from maternal or paternal side organize sangeet every night. 
Mayina: After this ceremony, would be bride and groom can’t their home alone. Oil is applied to both of them and Ghana is tied to their wrists.

Sanda: Maternal uncle perform this ceremony. he leads this puja with brides parents and perform all donations later maternal uncle gifts CHUDDA to bride (red and creamy bangles ). On other side groom to have to sit in puja after this puja groom’s maternal uncle help groom to take bath which is known as BHUTNA after bath groom have to jump on 7 earthen cups and break them, this is known as KHADE CHADNA.
Mehndi:The last major function before the wedding is the mehendi. Mehendiwallis are called to the respective houses of the boy and girl and they apply mehendi to the palms of the female family members, and the hands and feet of the bride. A basket containing bindis and bangles is handed around so girls can choose those that match the outfit they plan to wear to the wedding. For the bride the mehndi is sent by the future Mother in Law, which is beautiful decorated.
Sarbala(caretaker of the groom): A young nephew or cousin also dons similar attire as the groom. He is called the sarbala/shabbala  and accompanies him though out the wedding.
Sehrabandi: It comprises of dressing up of groom in his wedding attire. After the groom has dressed up in his wedding clothes, a puja is performed. Thereafter, the groom’s brother in law or Pundit ji ties the sehra on the groom’s head. After the completion of Sehrabandi ceremony, all those who witness the function give gifts and cash to the boy as a token of good luck.
Varna Varna is a ceremony that is supposed to ward off the evil eye. The groom's bhabi lines his eyes with surma (kohl).Usually this ceremony is performed after ghodi chadai but it is not a hard and fast rule.
Ghodi Chadna: The Ghori Chadna is the final ceremony at the groom’s place. The groom’s sisters and cousins feed and adorn his mare. To ward off the evil eye, people use cash and perform the Varna ritual. The cash is then distributed among the poor , it like grooms side throw coins before his procession .
After that whole barat leaves for Girl’s place.

Respect or Love?

What is being a good human being? i frequently heard this adjective you are a very decent and nice human being and we respects you…i can’t even laugh on this situation and it make me think. what we are looking for respect or love? what do you think ? Do you need someone to respect you or someone to love you?

I need someone to love me. Respect is sub set of love but vice versa is not true. Actually love is state, it’s a absolute state. wherein one have no differences, one don’t think or do anything one just love….just love…that’s  why someone had said “we fall in love” actually it mean we get into that blissful state and then we rises and if one really now the way to love that one is truly a  liberated soul.

Love is like prayer and yes that's why most of the Punjabi singers and Sufi's have written songs about Ranjha. In every song Heer looks for Ranjha and in her search she assimilate herself in him and him in her but that doesn’t mean one don’t need respect but point is when one love someone then their is no question of respect or xyz…but leave it. i just want lot of love…lot of…I am born to be loved and give love to others.

Malala Yousafzai…Braveheart

Born 1998 (age 14) Mingora, Khyber Pakhtunkhwa,Pakistan; Nationali Pakistani
Other names Gul Makai ; Ethnicity Pashtun
Known for Women's rights activism,educationism
BLOG: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7834402.stm

“marjane de andhar vasdi kudiye jundi reh
Tu kamli main kamla tera geet likhondi reh
sada suhagan khiven teri nazar utaar diyan
apne hise di duniyan .....”

“SATURDAY 3 JANUARY: I AM AFRAID
I had a terrible dream yesterday with military helicopters and the Taleban. I have had such dreams since the launch of the military operation in Swat. My mother made me breakfast and I went off to school. I was afraid going to school because the Taleban had issued an edict banning all girls from attending schools.”
these are words of a 11 year girl.
“People do not leave their homeland on their own free will – only poverty or a lover usually makes you leave so rapidly.”
how thought full she is. I am amazed at her courage and confidence and i salute not only her but her parents also who had given her that space to think and explore her world. It is difficult to find a girl with such a confidence and enthusiasm  in socially or politically stable state and in the condition where she is, i don’t any other word then amazing.

She has given a courage to all female of the swat valley and world. from were it all starts? just a wish to study, which is a basic human right. Sitting in the world largest democracy, it is very easy to say that it is a basic human right. There are many points to ponder about Malala but for time being i pray for this kid and i wish her my life too. I wish all my sisters, mothers, aunts and friends to evoke hidden malala in themselves. In her case it is about education but in your’s it might be about eye teasing, social evils like dowry, domestic violence, and other constraints. Remember  always you are symbol of shakti..the hidden energy which run this whole universe.

13 Things You Should Give Up…

 

Here is a list of 13 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. This list could be updated in future so i request to all readers to please provide their feedback and add few line items.

1. Give up your need to always be right. There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big? but that doesn’t mean one should accept everything so be assertive but before jumping into argument wait and introspect and then open your mouth.

2. Give up your need for control. Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, co-workers, or just stranger you met on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel. Give space and respect to everyone around you.“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. Give up on blame and stop complaining. Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life. No one is responsible for you. where ever you are or what ever has happened to you, you are the reason so rather than finding excuses please fix the your self. Negativity is worst than Alzheimer. never let negative thoughts to take germination in your mind.” Remember negative one multiplied by any big positive digit also make it negative.”

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk. Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that. Mind is very manipulative, it works against you and at the same time work for you too.  tame it by meditation  and keep it healthy by keeping it busy with creative work.“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5. Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly! We are child of gods and our playing small is not worth. A complete cosmos resides inside us so just think what you are capable of.
“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle

6. Give up the luxury of criticism. Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

7. Give up your need to impress others. Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take of all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.This life is short and uncertain and if god had send you on this earth with some specification and characteristics , then lets hone them rather then imitating other. “ Best thing you can be is you”

8. Give up your resistance to change. Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it. It is a nature of law” change is inevitable “ .
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell

9. Give up labels. Stop labelling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

10. Give up on your fears. Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

11. Give up the past. I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

12. Give up attachment. This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

13. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations. Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves. You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

QUOTED FROM MY READINGS.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

What does it mean? i asked myself. How others define love? I slept over it and concluded, Everyone has his/her own definition. But no one can put it in words easily. All definitions are obviously very personal like our DNA . Why i am asking these questions? Actually I too had/have a love story and I am figuring out what love is? How it happens?

I have a bad habit of asking strange questions but don’t worry guys i always put my neck in cutter ..as i don;t ask these question to anyone else except myself. A very strange question which i recently asked myself. Did i love her or I need her to love me? Both statements sound same but i am sorry, these statements are totally different.

First statement says I love her and what all matters to me is her happiness, In all conditions. It means I love her more than i love myself. This mean i care her and that mean i can leave her too for her good. Second statement says I am eccentric person and bit of selfish too so I just wish/want her to love me irrespective of her expectations ,constraints and requirements.

Some-one asked me : We all shoot for moon but do we all touch it ? Answer i know. No. Same person asked me: how much you can love some one!

LOVE : IS THERE ANY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LOVE AND TRUE LOVE?

LOVE , is there any difference between love and true love? Do there is any word like true love ? if it is there that mean there will be fake love also …ahhhh i don’t think so. It can’t be. I wish you to take you through my understanding of true love.

What is actually the true love or love is? That is the most beautiful thing that can happen to someone, because that is one shared feeling. When one meet someone and fall in love with him/her that is not the true love still. If this person shares your feelings that still is not the true love. because we share feeling with our room-mates our friends.

The true love could be trust, because without him every relationship is fated and can’t survive a long time in-fact we can’t call it relationship. When you have trust in your partner you are anxiety-free but even still that is not true love.

The true love is a friendship. You must to can be not only lover to your partner, you must be his/her friend. She/He should open his/her heart to you as a friend too.

It is a true love when you can talk about everything with the person who you are in love with. .

The true love is care, because when you are in love with someone you make everything that your partner can feel fine and loved. When the love is a true love this fact automatically eliminates the egoism, because now you are not alone and you must thing about the wishes, which have the person with who you are. When you love someone you want to make him happy.

The true love is when two people want to spend their time together in loving each other and when their love survives all of the obstacles, which they meet during their life together. Furthermore, if the people are able to keep their love the same as it was in the beginning through out the years, you can say that this is true love.

I think all of above said points in isolation can’t be true love but yes all of these in combination is true love or love .

OHHH but what about true love and love ? i missed that point all together. I think i am in love. Just now i had asked one more question to myself . Can we fell in love and then again come out of it ? that is bullshit …that can’t be possible i think so but i have habit of asking wrong questions. I hope some-one some-where will forgive me for the same. TCR LOVE . I will carry on my journey to find out answers of question.

LOVE IS OMNIPRESENT OR NO WHERE?

LOVE , essence of life…one of the most used word in this world…one of the easiest and sweetest word of any language. A word, very simple to pronounce or write, very easy to remember but might be one of the difficult word to understand. Is it so ? Is love is difficult to understand, i thought it is intriguing but Love is simple, love is the basic emotion with  which we embark the journey of this life. The moment we open our eyes we start looking for it. We cry when no one listen us, we wish all attention and love of people around us and we target those who don’t look good at us with our secret weapon some time just with brine and some time with #^%#%^%. anyways that’s how keep our parents and sibling on toes.

Mother love her kids but don’t she too expect love back from them? but that is normal. Then what is selfless love. I think expecting love in return is not a point, expecting bigger pie of some-one’s life is the concerns. A mother love her kids and than as they grow, she let them flew in open space and let them find other loves of their life books,music,freedom and a better half..etc (its a long list). That’s a difficult part but that’s what true and selfless love is, because she is happy in that. quit simple isn’t it .

Now as grown up, we start searching love of our life ..some call it their goals some their destination..it could be a dream profession, a goal or a dream girl/boy. In this journey we find many dummy destinations and all of those destinations teach us something. We never stop at any destination, we just keep on moving and adding new destinations in our diary. WHY? We always have a model of selfless love MOM, our Dear Friends, Our Spouse and Our hobbies then why still we keep searching for it, till the end of the day.

Except all of above thoughts, what’s a difference between true love and love? love is love how could one can fake it up. Its up-to us to make is easy or complex and i think most of us do the same. WE make love a complex subject and never come out with real solution. I don’t know what i want to say by this article or few line but i am myself trying to find out answers of few questions.

THE LOST SYMBOL… Dan Brown

An intriguing story by Dan Brown. They said America was known and in-fact now to as a land f opportunity, a land of scientific belief but after reading the series of Mr Brown’s novels, one can say that America is also a land of mysteries, secrets and random theories. THE LOST SYMBOL, an interesting story. A story full of gyan about American  heroes and American buildings. Main architecture of this story is quite like the one which we have seen in Dan brown’s other stories. Main ingredient: a theory , professor Langdon, CIA/Government agency and a lunatic. 

First scene too is quite predictable, a dark room full of strange looking peoples. A ceremony is about to conclude, a man is sitting in centre with a skull full of red liquid. Red liquid is not a blood, its just a symbolic of it. All these people are performing masonry ceremony to upgrade one of their brother. Mason, A member of a widespread secret fraternal order pledged to mutual assistance and brotherly love. A secret but a very powerful brotherhood. Mr Peter solomon , 33rd degree mason and head of Smithsonian Institution USA. An early morning he summoned his best friend professor Langdon to deliver a speech on “ Symbols   “ at United state Capitol hill Washington D.C and requested him to bring a package which Mr Peter left with professor. Professor reached at venue but ops ..there is nothing and soon he realized, he is tricked into it but by the time CIA director Ms SATO (a hard nose lady ) and a squad of CIA is behind Professor. Meanwhile Mr Peter is kidnaped by a Mason brother of him Mal'akh. Mr. Malakh has already killed few of the characters in his past life …like Mr Peter’s mother, Mr Peter’s son Zachary Solomon and few other side kicks. Now Mr Malakh is on hunt for Ms Katherine Solomon. Ms Solomon is now only left family of Peter. She is an noetic scientist. She has a well established and fully equipped laboratory, which was funded by his brother. She do had made some good research and experiments there with the help of her assistant Ms Dumes , the only one who is allowed in-side the lab.

Mr Malakh is behind some secret hidden under Washington and gateway of the same is hidden under symbols ,which only professor can decode. With this agenda in mind he instigate a series of murder and actions which stir whole Washington city for a night. As usual Professor is the kingpin and have onus to solve this riddle and there are helping hand for him too and finally he is able to save his friend Peter from his own son Malakh and save mason’s secret too.

TAKE AWAY FROM BOOK:

All forefathers of Morden America were mason’s inclusive of Father of nation.

Mr Brown has a set of way to tell a story, his plot is quite predictable. His characters are predictable. His story to roam around same boundary. A professor, who is in trouble because of his knowledge, a rich and famous man in trouble because of some secrets , Rich man’s daughter or sister who to get enrolled because of blood relation. Professor and lady will lead the pack, will try to solve the problem while government agencies are behind them and murderer is ahead of them. Few explosions, some theories and finally happy ending.

My god …Mr Brown ..we need something new. Please…Please …i will rate other books of him better than this one….by the way the secret hidden under Washington DC was a word the BIBLE .

Praise the GOD…………lets hope Mr TOM HANKS will bring this book in better taste on big screen.

True Love... shared by Doctor,

By: Varun Tirumala on May 15, 2012

It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 a.m., when an elderly gentleman in his 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb in my Clinic. He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.
I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him look at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.
On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.
While taking care of his wound, we began to engage in conversation. I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.
I then inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease.
As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.
I was surprised, and asked him, "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?"
He smiled as he patted my hand and said, "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is."I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life".
True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

Some Thing Fresh ---PG Wodehouse

He was master of comedy but that doesn’t mean he blew every thing in air .He had a good grip on all humanly emotions .No doubt  he is one of the best comic writer of our time .After lot of restraints finally i put my hands of comic genre and i started with best “ Some Thing Fresh “ by PG Wodehouse.A story set on the canvas of British society ,full of anecdotes about social structure of British lifestyle .A story in which you can find Earls,lords ,valets ,doormen,Chef ,horsemen ,couch men ,main maid and a hell lot of designations and that too just in one house .On one side this story is comedy but just if you dip deep in to it one can read a-lot in between lines about changes happening in the society at the time this book was written .

This story revolves around a scarab and Blanding castle . 

• Ashe Marson, a writer of detective novels
• Joan Valentine, Ashe's neighbour, who writes stories for a gossip magazine
• Aline Peters, an old friend of Joan Valentine
  • J. Preston Peters, Aline's father, a wealthy Scarab collector
• The Earl of Emsworth, absent-minded master of Blandings
  • Freddie Threepwood, his younger son, engaged to Aline
  • Lady Ann Warblington, Emsworth's widowed sister, chatelaine of Blandings
• Rupert Baxter, Lord Emsworth's very efficient secretary
• Sebastian Beach, dignified head butler at Blandings Castle
  • Mrs Twemlow, housekeeper at the Castle
• George Emerson, a Hong Kong police officer, in love with Aline
• R. Jones, an obese bookmaker, a friend of Freddie Threepwood

Mr Marson ,main lead of our story met lead lady(Miss Valentine) of the story in his neighbourhood while flexing his muscles .She not only stimulate him but also inspire him to move ahead in life.They met once and then met again and again till they got married but this story is not as romantic as it sound now .Mr Peter is a proud owner of a antique scarab which Mr Emsworth drop in his pocket by mistake .Mr Peter employed Marson to steal that scarab mean while Mr Peter’s daughter too proposed same proposal to Miss valentine because of this they again crossed road with each other .Marson finally manages to acquire that scarab and gave to his legitimate owner ,who offered him an offer to be is secretary .Marson too propose Miss Valentine to marry him .This is a general story ,No sorry i don’t agree .As i said you have to read in between line to understand essence of this story .

I save a life ,you too can…

Saving life is a divine job and it is not as complicated as it sounds . The moment i think of saving some ones life, following ideas rush through my mind .

1. I need a MBBS degree… ohhh…after finishing an engineering degree …never i don’t want to loose my all hairs .

2. Nurse …hmmm… i still remember the movie ” Meet the Fockers “ and Male Nurse is still a alien concept for Indian society .

3.I will go to the planet “krypton”… will live there for a while and come back to earth as SUPER MAN …boring…

4. I will donate the Blood …this one sound easy .

yap finally  i got it right . i will donate my blood because …

now the point is, Is it really safe ? How could an engineer answer that .Well i am regular blood donor and i started it long back ,when i was 19 year old ”minimum age to donate blood is 17 years”. it all started with a small anecdote . My maternal aunt had to go through a small surgery and my uncle was quite sceptic about donating blood .Fortunately for my uncle , i was in the city and i was his only  relative in the city to whom he can reach for help .It was a strange situation as a grown man of 34 years requesting a young lad of 19 years to donate blood in his place because he needles hunt him from child-hood so I took this chance quietly  .As a Sanik school product i have profound friendship with pain so i said ok mama ji lets try it out.That’s how it started .After that incident next time i donated blood to a un-known old lady ,she might be in her last days and a street beggar .She was dying of some problem and was admitted in AIIMS by the help of an NGO .One of my friend was looking for O+ blood group for her and he just come across to me and I readily accepted his offer .I don’t know why i did but now i bless my friend to give me that opportunity to save a life .even though i was not the only one to donate blood to her as she required around 4 bottles of blood but  still i cherish the happiness or self relief or i don’t know how to explain that emotion but that moment was quite a soul satisfying one .Then only i understand the value of my blood ,which i can donate every quarter.Our body is quite capable of creating 450 gm. of blood with in a day .if an adult has no bad habits (drugs /smoking or HIV) he or she can donate blood ,not only because it is good for healthy but also the feeling of donating will fill you with out of world enjoyment ,which i am incapable of expressing in the words.

Don’t afraid of donating blood it is a harmless and scientifically proven technique .You can save lives just by a small gesture .Come and lets donate our blood to help others to live but please take precautions too. never go to un-authorised camp or clinic or hospital .before donating blood have a check that blood donation camp officials have all equipment's or not .are they sterilizing the needles . Do they have proper arrangements and government orders because your blood is not only precious to your-self but its precious to some one else too.

Blood donation :

 

What exactly happens during blood-donation?

Giving blood is a very simple and straight forward process. On arrival at a blood drive, you will be asked to fill a few details on a donor form. Your medical history will be taken by a medical personnel in an area which provides adequate privacy. We routinely take a small drop of blood to ensure that you aren't anaemic. After you pass this simple medical screening process, you will be escorted to a blood donation area. The actual blood donation takes about 10 minutes followed by a little rest and refreshments.

What should I eat after blood donation?

Drink some liquid like tea, cold drink, juice, etc. to replenish fluid and eat some snacks. All this will be available for you at the blood donation site.

What does a blood bank do?

It collects blood, processes it in its components, tests for any possible disease, stores blood components at optimum temperature and gives these to the needy patients after cross matching.

What happens to blood I donate?

Your blood goes to a modern blood bank - Prathama Blood Center. Within 6 hours of Blood collection its processing starts at Prathama Blood Centre. It is separated into components viz. Red Cells, White Cells, Plasma & Platelets. These Blood components are made available to Ahmedabad Municipal Corporation Hospitals, Govt. Hospitals, Nursing Homes. Medical setups, which do not have blood storage facilities, send their samples to us for cross matching following which blood is sent to them directly. All this is to ensure fastest response to the patient’s need. This is how each time you donate blood you save up to 4 lives.

Why blood components?

In modern medicine there is no room for whole blood. Developed countries have switched over to blood components for more than 20 years. Unfortunately in India still 95% of the blood is used as whole blood. By making blood components, all the useful parts of blood can be used. In whole blood, platelets die and clotting factors become ineffective and the patient receives unwanted and ineffective components.

What all things you test my blood for?

Automatic and highly sensitive Robotic blood testing set up is used to test each and every unit of blood for HIV Virus (AIDS), Hepatitis B & C virus (Jaundice) Malaria Parasite, Syphilis and also blood groups. Bar Code systems, fully integrated computer network, real time information processing makes our lab only of its kind in India. This lab ensures highest level of blood safety to each unit of blood. Thanks to robotic machines the lab technicians also have minimal contact with the blood, which ensures their safety from blood transmitted disease.

Care that a donor should take after donating blood.

• Eat and Drinks something before leaving
• Drink more liquids than usual in next 4 hours
• Avoid consuming alcohol until you have eating something
• Don't smoke for next 30 minutes
• Avoid climbing steps for next 30 minutes
• If there is bleeding from the phlebotomy site, raise the arm and apply pressure
• If fainting or dizziness occurs, either lie down or site with the head between the knees
• Resume all normal activities if no symptoms occur

A well spent Sunday morning

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